One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
