so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
