We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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