I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
