I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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