I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
