i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
