At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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