I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
