grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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