Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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