Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am naked and annoyed.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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