Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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