I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
only you would photoshop your dick
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
