Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
