I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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