in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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