I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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