Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
