If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
