I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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