I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
