I need help removing her.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
