Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
