im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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