I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
COCAINE IS GR8
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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