Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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