If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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