do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
