Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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