i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
