it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize