If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
