I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
