plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
