dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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