I'm going to jail i love you
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize