Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
