u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
