I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
