I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
