Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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