im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The air was thick with penises
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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