the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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