And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
