There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
organizing the empties. That sober.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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