The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
