My liver just broke up with me...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
