did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
