This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
