is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
