I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize