btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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