By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize