So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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