it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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