Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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