I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
