STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
