How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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