the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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