Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
