would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize