is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's a Shit stain on my heart
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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