I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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