Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
